The Depressed Heart And The Listening Ear

Hi Hi Hi everyone. Good afternoon/evening, depending on your time zone! Hope you guys are good and kicking? I’ve missed you guys a lot๐Ÿ˜ญ Did you miss me too? *Sniffs* ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿฅบ

Okay I came with another interesting and pressing topic. I wanted to release this write up since forever, but I didn’t have the strength to compose it. Even though I had my topic. Yeah I know, it happens.
I’m sure some of you would be like “depression again?!” Yes! Depression!!! Have you been through it? Or do you know anyone going through it? I bet we know at least, 1 person that’s been through it or is going through it right now. It’s a really pressing topic people don’t really talk about.
So, diving right in, I’ll like to define what depression is;

It’s a mental state characterized by a pessimistic sense of inadequacy and a despondent lack of activity.

It’s a medical condition in which a person feels very sad and anxious and often has physical symptoms, such as being unable to sleep, excessive thinking, etc.

It’s also a state of feeling very sad and without hope.

This mental condition is rampant in our teenagers and youths of today, which nobody really notices or pays attention to. People just say “this fellow is weird” and then ceases to interact well with such a person. This is the main reason for suicidal cases. The thoughts I believe some think about before they die is “who cares anyway? I need to rest from all these troubles.”

Story wayyyy…
A friend of mine comes to my house, a guy in particular to come and talk. To pour his out, because I’m the only person he can talk to. He came almost a week ago. We would spend minutes talking, almost close to an hour. He lives with his mum and siblings. His dad is late and he’s the first son. Things are really going on in his family. Their standard of living is less than the ones we call the “average people”. So many things are on his head, he has to make so many sacrifices. The friends that surround him have tried to influence him negatively but because of the fear he has for his mum, he didn’t fully fall into their traps. There are times he would go to his friends place and they’d offer him alcohol to drink and then a cigarette to smoke. He said he didn’t want his friends to say he’s a coward or a weakling so he accepted drinks from them but not a cigarette or weed. I’ve told him severally that he needs to change his circle of friends.

Fast forward…
He went on to tell me that he has been depressed for a while now, he does things he shouldn’t do (undisclosed). He said, just the fact that he sees his family suffering and can’t do anything to it breaks his heart. He was like “Bolu I’ve thought of running away to meet people” and I was like “who do you want to run to? Where do you want to go?”, he further replied saying ” I want to go out and make money. Probably meet some yahoo boys (internet fraudsters) and then hook up so they can show me the way”. I was surprised. Obviously, a boy with no patience could think about something like that but I never expected him to. You know why? Because of his mum. She has really suffered because of her children. What if he runs and then the mum starts to search for him and from there she dies, God forbid.  Her blood will be on his neck, wouldn’t it? That was the same way I told him and I noticed he got something from what I said. I was like look at me, I’m also going through mine. My depression isn’t just as worse as his. I was like “a fine exterior doesn’t mean the inside is fine. It could be cracked, broken and shattered.” I just talked to him like a normal person should, out of empathy. I also encouraged him with some quotes in the Bible. I told him, we only need to make our path straight with God after that, leave it to the master to handle. He asked me a question he thought was rhetoric, “what can I do when I get to enter school now? I can’t afford to disturb mummy for money when I get to school.” I just looked at him and smiled. I said “do you know you’re very talented? You can draw, sing, you can make tie and dye with several designs, put it to use. Package anyone of it well and start with it, especially the tie and dye stuff. See me ehnn, I don’t have anything. I can’t do anything. I’m still thinking about my own life like this.” He laughed and said I also have a talent. I asked him what that was and he said, the talent of talking to people and encouraging them even in your pain. He said put yours also to use. I laughed and asked how? I said I already have a blog and I reach out to people with my words. I just hope it’s encouraging and people appreciate it.

One day, I’ll also like to stand on a stage and talk, reach out to millions of people with my words.

In summary, we have to try and notice the people around us. Some people could be a JOKER ( a person with a smiley mask on his crying face). We need to watch out and try to help. Some of us just want to talk. Just your words of encouragement goes a long way. One of my friends told me this morning that if you don’t have anyone to go to, I’m always here. Do you know how long that simple statement went?? A feeling of relief went through me, “so I’m still relevant?” Because there are times I feel I do not exist, like nobody cares. This same feeling and thought goes through some of the people that are around you. Lend a listening ear to others. Some people need it!
If you’re going through a depressed state in your life now and you’re reading this, just know you’ll be fine! Everything’s going to be fine and look for someone around you that you trust and pour your heart out to. We’re humans, even after pouring our hearts out to God, we still need someone to talk to. Remember, nobody cares how much you know, but how much you care.

I hope you gained a thing or two from this write up. Thanks a whole lot for taking time to read this!!โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ Tife loves you!

How Well Do You Accept Defeat or Failure?

Hiiii everyone!! How’ve you been? It’s been really long since I released a post. It’s over a month now. I’ve literally been busy with reading for my exam (post utme) and now I’m back since I’m done with it.

I’m writing this with a sad heart because I didn’t actually make the exam. It’s my second year trying. I really tried my best and all. I prayed and fasted too. I just had the feeling that this year was going to be my year, not knowing I was only deceiving myself. If I had known, I wouldn’t have stressed myself that much. Only if I knew…

I cried my heart and eyes out the night I saw my result. I felt I had really disappointed God for me to try the second time and not still get the desired result. It’s said “The thoughts of God isn’t that of men” and that ” Man proposes and God disposes”. I tell people this when trying to motivate them, but it didn’t work for me when I saw my result. Nobody could tell me anything that moment and I would answer. I was already asking God, “why me?” I was shouting, telling my mum to beg God for me (it’s funny, but wasn’t that moment).

I found myself almost slipping into depression. I could be eating and then I would have gone, oblivious to my environment. I didn’t want to pray no more. I began to hate everything. I lost interest in so many things. I decided to cut people off. Some of my friends do not still understand why I act this way. But some of friends surrounded me and told me not to give up. Words and doings I never expected from them, they did it to try to ease my pain. They didn’t give up on me. Even though they felt I didn’t want to talk to them, they still pressed. I had decided to delete all my social medias until one night. Then, I knew I had friends who actually cared.

I’m all better now and I can say I’m not. I still slip into deep thinking. I just don’t think about the failure alone, but about life generally, because it hasn’t been fair to my sisters and I. It’s just been hard, but we’re trying to be strong. I’m sorry for pouring my heart out this way. I just need to, so that I can feel better.
In this situation, I tried to abandon God. It’s not the first time, not the second time either. It always happened, but the reality was that I could never leave Him. Even if I tried to, I always felt like I had this great punishment waiting for me somewhere.

So what I want to bring out is this, I’m not the type of person who takes failure lightly. I would definitely cry my eyes out. The fact that I have friends who stands by me, I feel relevant and happy. I really really appreciate the friends (turned fa itmily) God has given unto me. I’ll never take them for granted. Just the assurance gave me strength. It showed they cared. There’s this saying in our sunday school teens manual, “no one cares about how much you know, but how much you care.” The realization that my friends really cared, made me happy and attentive to them.

Thank you for reading my rants, yes my rants๐Ÿ’”. It shows you care and I love you guys a whole lot!
โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ

One Thing About Me – “Self Love (II)”

Happy New Month Friends. I pray this Month favours us all. I’m back again. I’ll be continuing my talk on “Self Love”. I didn’t get to finish it the last time.

From where I stopped…

I always want to make myself happy. If I don’t, who will?

When I get the things I want, I still share with my sisters. No matter how little the things are. There are times I just close my eyes and spend, having faith that God’ll provide another for me, not minding how little.

When I cook at home, because my younger sister and I take turns, I’ll make sure I serve my food immediately after my mum’s (that’s if it’s the food I like) and I’ll make sure I satisfy myself not minding the quantity or size of food my sisters will have left๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚(I do this because my food is something you can bite your fingers off for๐Ÿ˜‚ my sisters will say it’s Maggi,but I’ll say it’s still sweeter than what you cook๐Ÿ˜Œ). My younger sister hates this part of me and we argue a lot, but I find it amusing. I’ll say “I know how to take care of myself, if you like dull yourself and be waiting for me to take a small portion of food or anything we share, according to how old we are, you’ll sleep there my dear.” I know when and when not to act the way I do. When I know it’s easy for them to cook another food, I take as much as I can. Don’t look at me as a foodie ๐Ÿ˜‚ I eat, not too much, but I eat! I’m not selfish either, but sometimes I act that way at home๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’” You should get meeee!! Am I making sense to anyone?

In summary, I do not dull myself. I fight for whatever I want and stand on my ground. These things makes me happy.

Generalizing…

I was added to a girl’s group chat last week and the talk was also centred on self love. People put down different definitions of self love and I’ll like to share some.

[2/24, 9:19 PM] Being in LOVE with yourself not minding your shortcomings and inabilities especially those we can’t help.
Maybe your body size, shape, face, or whatever makes you “YOU”
[2/24, 9:21 PM] Self love from my P.O.V is willing and focusing on giving what is best for yourself, overlooking your flaws, trying to obtain the ultimate good for yourselfโค๏ธโค๏ธ
[2/24, 9:29 PM] Self love isn’t just a feeling, because some days you’ll wake up and have the highest confidence level ever and other days, you’ll wake up and hate everything about yourself- from how you look to who you areโ€ฆBut self love is about choosing to love and value yourself and do what is good, for you everyday.โค

From the definitions above, we already know what self love is all about. Loving ourselves in any situation or circumstance we find ourselves. Learning to live for yourself and God alone. Not acting on people’s opinions about you.

Photo source: Google Images

Do you know the story of Sultan, the tallest man in the world? He lives in the city of Mardin, right by the border between Syria and Turkey. As a child, he noticed he began growing tall, abnormally tall. Then he was taken to the hospital and they discovered a tumor in his brain that made him grow so tall, at the age of 10. By then, people already started to run away from him and began to hate him. It wasn’t easy for him. He had abnormal large body parts. It was hard to find a job, walk around and most importantly, to find love. He began to hate himself for that. He was taken to a doctor to remove the tumor. But by then, he was already too large. What could make him happy again? Nothing! He began self hate. He fell down at a point and broke his leg because he was too tall. He had to start using a cane to support him to walk. Later on, he thought over about everything. He believed God decided to make him that way and started to encourage himself. He became happy because of his body, instead of thinking of his body as a curse, he thinks about it as a blessing. This positive thought towards himself, made him famous and was finally put into the “Guinness Book of World Record” for being the tallest man in the world. Now he has travelled to over 128 countries, in a first class airplane.

Sultan, The Tallest Man in The World- supporting himself with canes.

What I’m trying to bring out is this, make yourself happy. No matter the condition, what you face, how you look like, what you talk like or how you behave. Everyone’s unique in their own ways. God created us to show forth his works. How strong and marvellous He is. If you’re part of the people who body shame, please stop it. You can’t even make a single mosquito, so who are you to body shame others who you can’t create? Instead, show people love. Make them love themselves and accept themselves the way they are.

The Tallest Man and Shortest Man in the world

I’ve come to the end of the talk on “Self Love”. Don’t forget to share, like and comment. Please do leave a comment ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ

Thank You! โค๏ธ

ONE THING ABOUT ME- SELF LOVE

Hi Hi Hiii!!! Your girl ‘Tife is back๐Ÿคฉ Missed my stories?๐Ÿ˜Œ

I’ll be revealing a little tiny bitty part of myself today. I think I want to be doing this once in a while. I’ll be doing that when I feel the need to.

So, what’s self love? This is my definition-it means loving yourself for who you are, who God created you to be, not minding the side talks of people around you and not letting their words get to you. I have heard this phrase from 3 friends. They’d say “be your own hypeman”. A big shout out to Mercy, our own celebrity farmer(Sister Debbie) and Timileyin(boy). They would say “who’d hype you if you don’t hype yourself ?” You feel that?? I did feel it๐Ÿ˜Œ

When I was younger, I was known for asking and demanding from my parents. If I needed anything, I wouldn’t hesitate to meet them to tend to my needs. I know what is good for me and what I want. I don’t dull. It got to a point that my dad would shout on me and ask “are you the only child in this house ?” It wasn’t like I didn’t care about my sisters not having the things I asked for but they’d never talk and I can’t do that! Please, I cannot comman kill myself ๐Ÿ˜‚ I would tell them “ask!” They would say they do not know how to face them to ask, I would wave my hands in the air and say “whatever, I’m going to ask for myself”. I knew obviously, that if I asked for myself, my parents would surely get it for them too. Only that I was going to be abused by my parents saying that I’m selfish and self centered. As a child, I saw it as me being bold to ask for whatever I wanted to feel comfortable.

I’m Prettayyy๐Ÿคฉ๐Ÿคฉ

My mum would always say “Bolu save for the raining day…”

I’m a type of person that gets what I want when I desire it. I don’t think of the consequences of the future sincerely. You can call it bad, yes. I also think that way at times, but then I wave it off. I would reply my mum in this manner, saying ” this thing you want me to save out from isn’t even enough and you keep saying save”. She would turn her face and say “ooto ni sha (it’s true sha)”. And I know how to use this tone to convince her๐Ÿ˜‚ I used to save at a point in my life, that was at the age of 9-12. I could save 20k in a month. My sisters and I bought things ourselves then, but now it’s hard to. ๐Ÿ’” I don’t even get everything I want with the money I have in hand and you still want me to save, no! I’ll get to decide when and when not to save.

I know some of you would be like it’s bad. It’s a bad habit not to save, I know that. But how do you manage to save out of what isn’t just enough? I didn’t just suddenly become adamant and all. I had a reason for being so sure I was doing the right thing. I think it was my “faith” that helped me. I came across this verse in the Bible, though I do not remember where exactly.

I recall it stated something like this…

…do not think or worry of the food, clothe and resources of the morrow, for you didn’t create yourself. The one who created you should be the one to handle that.

My heavenly Father will take care of my needs!!! Why do I need to worry about how I spend? I spend wisely though, do not mistake me.

The other reason that made me depend on my self and not on other people for love is that I wasn’t really given much attention to when I was little. My mum’s favorite was my elder sister and my dad’s favorite was my younger sister. So, I was in between. You get that type of feeling. I was alone, that was when I developed interest in reading books. Not that my parents didn’t love me, I’m their child, why wouldn’t they love their child? But it felt like they forgot me. So I started depending on myself for my happiness. I started to love myself more and appreciate myself. I would always look in the mirror, play with myself when I’m alone and tell myself, I’m beautiful! Yes, I’m smart!

I’m loveable โค๏ธ

Back to the Bible reference…

I became so carefree because I held on to those words and my faith was strong. So, I would always quote it in anyway I could to my mum and she’ll remind me of the verse in the Bible that talked about ants saving up food, for the period of famine in the land๐Ÿ˜‚ In my heart, I would talk to God and tell Him “God, it’s not like I don’t want to save but this money isn’t enough for me” God has never ceased to surprise me, He has never once failed me.

I love Mee!! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

Get this, the act of saving is really good and I love it, don’t quote me wrong. Save out of your abundance or how well you can manage what you have left after saving.

I’ll stop here for now. Expect the “Part 2” soon. I hope you enjoyed the write-up? If you know where the two verses I tried quoting is, in the Bible, please leave it in the comment section and please do ask me questions on what you do not understand. I’ll be glad to reply. A quick question to end it, “how do you show yourself love? Do you solely depend on people to show you love?”

“PHARMACY GRADUATE WITH OVER 50 RESEARCH ARTICLES BAGS 1ST CLASS FROM UI”

Meet Pharmacist Adebisi Yusuff Adebayo, B.Pharm (First Class Honors); the first Nigerian Undergraduate Student to be called a Professor.

Doctor of Pharmacy, Adebisi Yusuf Adebayo

He is the Director for Research at Global Health Focus, an organisation that seeks to build critical thinkers and leaders in global health towards achieving health-related Sustainable Development Goals.

He is also…

…the Director for Research and Innovation at the African Young Leaders for Global Health, Coordinator at AB Global Health Initiative, Co-founder and Executive Director at Pharmacostory (a community of young leaders dedicated to health promotion), and the Director of Healthy Nations Initiative (a community empowerment think-tank aimed at improving access to health information.

The Director for Research and Innovation
A Pharmacy Graduate of the University of Ibadan

ProfRx, as he is popularly called, was inducted into the Pharmacy Profession by the Pharmacists Council of Nigeria (PCN) yesterday, graduating with Distinctions (First Class Honors). This, to many is totally astonishing, though inspirational to students out there because of how well-involved Adebisi is, in many extra-curricular activities and his achievements throughout his stay in the University.

Adebisi is a global health enthusiast, drug policy advocate, research enthusiast, and public health educator. He has published over 50 articles (in different international peer-reviewed journals) in the areas of global health and public health, with more than 200 Google Scholar Citations as an undergraduate.

ProfRx, Scholar and Health Enthusiast

He has presented (as an author/co-author) various research publications in many local and international conferences. His team won the 2018 Innovate4AMR global competition organised by World Health Organization, John Hopkins University Bloomberg School of Public Health, South Centre, ReAct -Action on Antibiotics Resistance and the International Federation of Medical Students’ Association.

Pharm. Adebisi Yusuff Adebayo is also a Royal Society of Tropical Medicine and Hygiene UK Ambassador, Tobacco Harm Reduction Scholar for Knowledge-Action-Change London, drug policy and harm reduction advocate at Student for Sensible Drug Policy Washington D.C, United States. He was awarded the National Institute of Health Research UK and RSTMH grant to carry out a project on risk communication and community engagement strategies, surveillance and laboratory testing capacity for COVID-19 in selected African countries.

He was just inducted into the “Pharmacy Profession” in February.

Pharmacist Yusuff at Global Health Focus Africa’s Conference 2020

Elucidated below are some of his achievements:
-Winner, 2018 Innovate for Antimicrobial Resistance (Innovate4AMR) Global Competition
-Delegate, 2017 World Healthcare Students Symposium, Kigali, Rwanda
-Nominee, Pharmanews Pharmacy Student of the Year Award in 2019
-Recipient, PharmaLead Award of Excellence (2019)
-Delegate, 22nd International AIDS Conference, Amsterdam, Netherlands (2018)
-Delegate and Representative of the Royal Society of Tropical Medicine and Hygiene at the first International Lassa Fever Conference Abuja, Nigeria (2019)
-Panelist , 2019 edition of the Global Forum on Nicotine, Warsaw, Poland
-2019 recipient of Knowledge-Action-Change Harm Reduction Grant.
-2020 RSTMH NIHR small grant awardee for COVID-19 research and many more.

We say a big congratulations to Adebisi Yusuff for this great achievement! May God continue to see him through.

Check Adebisi Yusuff on Facebook by clicking the icon below.

“OWN ALL OF YOUR PAST!”

I’ll start with this question; “Who doesn’t have a story?”

This write-up was inspired by Viola Davis. A popular, black American actress. My dad made me know her. My dad would always send me videos on Whatsapp, link to videos on YouTube. Sincerely, I got tired of it. Then he sent the link to Viola Davis’s video, “Own Your Past” I felt it was talking a lot to me. I opened the video and watched it with my sisters. It was so inspiring. This was very early last year. I wrote her name down, saying I was going to make a research on her. But lazy me, I didn’t. Though, she was still in my head. Her words always rang in my head. Thinking of the next write-up to put down, I decided on writing ” Letting go off your past” and then I remembered Viola, yes, she talked on something like this. So I wanted to search. Unfortunately, I could only remember Davis, not Viola. To cut the long story short, I remembered her name from my sleep and went ahead to look for it. Hers was, “OWN YOUR PAST”. Then, my topic changed.

Viola Davis

” Why do I have to go through all these? Emotional trauma! Family issues, personal issues! Can’t God just help? I’ve asked so many times, He wouldn’t listen to me. He won’t stand up for my help. I’m tired, tired of this world, EVERYTHING!! Taking my life will be better, I just want to be out! I want it all to end… “

These thoughts have run through most of our minds, if not more. We keep asking, “Why Us?” I got to realize later on, “if not us, then who?” We also blame the current situation or level we are, on our parents, friends or family members. I know some of us have been through a tough phase in our lives or we’re still going through it. Instead of us to face it and carry our cross, we keep looking back to reflect on those good days, how the problem started and you keep placing the blame on a particular person. Some of you even run away from your past, you don’t even want to hear about it. Why not own it? Why not live a life that you’ll reflect back on those days and be proud of where you are today? Why not live a life to inspire others? Doesn’t God know about all what’s happening to us? Why does it seem like He’s not interfering? Why does this phase seem like it’s never going to end? Why does it feel like we’re invisible? I think I think I have an answer to that. The answer is “A Success Story”.

If you don’t go through this, how’ll you be able to relate with others, how’ll you be able to put yourself in other people’s shoes when you becsome prosperous later in future?

Psalm 66:10-12

Meditate on the scripture above. Before gold shines, it passes through fire. This ought to be the stage of your life, where you need to concentrate more on and have a good relationship with God, instead of pointing fingers. Yes, they caused all these to happen to you, but who made it happen, God. You need a success story my dears.

Viola Davis said in a speech; “Who said all of who you are has to be good? All of who you are is who you are. We carry history with us. We are our history.” She also said, ” Forgive, reconcile and use your heart, courage and vision to fix, heal and to ultimately connect, to empathize and that empathy creates a passion for people and it all, is the fuel of the warrior. A brave experienced soldier or fighter.”

Popular Actress, Viola Davis

When you gain vision and strength and forgiveness, you can remember what it means to be a child who was hungry, a child who was depressed, tired of life, you can remember what it means to be in trauma, poverty, alcoholism, a child who dreams and sees no physical manifestation of it. You’ll remember because you lived it, you were there and that’ll be the biggest gift you’ll have in your life, in serving.

You could only understand people if you feel them in yourself (empathy). Your story can change the world, JUST OWN IT! Owning all of it, the good and the bad, every heroic deed, great idea, memories and experiences even if they were traumatic. Let go off the bitterness, hatred and self hate. You can’t get anywhere with it. You’ll just see yourself being punished psychologically and emotionally. Forget anything in you that will get in the way.

Do not let your past or what’s happening to you presently, make you lose your passion. Because no one talks about the real final cap or doesn’t acknowledge you now doesn’t mean you won’t get there. Push and be Focused.

“The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present”

Barbara De Angelis

“You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space”

Johnny Cash

“Never let the past spoil your present or govern your future”

Unknown

Advantages of owning your past

1. You’ll grow in empathy for others.

2. You’ll know how to advice and know what’s good for a second party out of experience.

3. You’ll know how to jump past new hurdles and handle it with grace.

I’ll end with this, you can either leave something for people or leave something in people.

I hope you liked this write-up? If you did, please leave a comment in the comment box and don’t forget to share. Thank you โœจโœจ

FRIENDSHIP: “FRIENDS LIKE FAMILY”

Good day everyone๐Ÿ˜Œ. How’re you doing? I’ll be rounding up the “Friendship” talk I’ve been on for a while. I’ll be citing examples from two different movies. Let’s get down to the matter๐Ÿ˜‹

1..2..3…..Action!

We have friends that have turned family. I watched this Korean movie last year, “The Record of Youths”. Actually, I’m not the movie type. So, when I see a movie and the first scene bores me, I’m off. I won’t ever go back to it, even if you tell me it’s interesting.

The three good friendsโ˜บ๏ธโ˜บ๏ธ

But then guyssss, this movie talked and portrayed what good friendship is all about ๐Ÿฅบ. They were 3 close guy friends in this movie. Even though their family background differed financially, they never looked at that, and still stood by each other. 2 of the guys fell in love with the same girl. Obviously, one guy will eventually have the girl. This still, didn’t spoil their friendship. These 2 same guys were actors, one was the popular and rich guy, while the other was the poor and unpopular guy. As time went on, the unpopular one rose to stardom and his popularity beat the popularity of the rich friend. On a normal basis, we know that for this to happen, the friendship wouldn’t be as strong as before. Still, the friendship stood. Solid and strong!

The rich friend(to the left), the poor friend(to the right) and the girl they both fell in love with…. ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ’‹โ€๐Ÿ‘จ

People talked the rich guy out of the friendship. Regardless, he didn’t waver, he stood. I wish everyone has this type of friendship. The movie taught me a lesson. When you see your friends prospering, support them anyhow you can, and look up to God for yours. Do not sly them. Do not be jealous; it’s inevitable for some people, but try to control yourself, your feelings.

Definition of True friendship ๐Ÿฅบโค๏ธ
Love birds ๐Ÿคฉ

“SUPPORT YOUR FRIENDS”

Down to the next movie, “Wonder Woman 1984”. This movie taught me another lesson. Be careful on how you choose your friends. This is the hard part. One can’t easily discern. You don’t know who is who. You can only be helped and directed by the Holy Spirit.

Wonder Woman

What I’m trying to say is this, “NOT EVERYONE IS YOUR FRIEND”.

Wonder woman didn’t have a particular friend. She just says ‘hi’ and goes her way. And then Barbara came. Wonder woman was reluctant to become friends with her, but I think she just later had this liking towards her. Probably she looked pitiful to her. She became friends with Barbara. Barbara became greedy and chose to destroy Wonder Woman. Why? I thought they were friends? Then I got, the friendship wasn’t a genuine one. It wasn’t built on a solid ground. Barbara out of her selfish and greedy nature, decided to destroy everything that concerned Wonder Woman because of power.

“BE OBSERVANT”. People can also use your friends against you. Just like how Max Lord, the evil guy, used Barbara against Wonder Woman.

Wonder Woman

“BE WISE”

Barbara

So, we come to the end of the talk on “Friendship”. I hope you guys enjoyed it? Do not forget to like, comment and refer to your friends too. Thank you for your time! โค๏ธโค๏ธ

Tifeโœจ

FRIENDSHIP II: FAMILY

Yo! What’s up guys? How’ve you guys been? Missed me?? ๐Ÿ’ƒ

I briiiinnggggg to you this day, another juicy content! Hmm, delicious ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹ Wait for it! You’ll probably love it. I hope you do!

I’m taking on another phase of friendship. It’s divided into two segments. The first segment concentrates on “family” and the second concentrates on “friends“.

According to our famous primary school definition, “A family is a group of people which consists of a father, mother, children, uncles, aunts, nephews, nieces, grandmother, grandfather, etc that’re related by blood (extended family).” I tried!๐Ÿ˜‚

Familyโœจ

Can we call our family, “friends”? Well, for me, I think so. With the experience I’ve had with my family, I’ll say, yes. STORY TIME!!!

When I was younger, my mum was so strict. I always wished I wasn’t close to her or my dad would get home fast to save my sisters and I from her grip. She was a real disciplinarian. I recall the day she found a diary in my bag because she was looking for a pen to give to our neighbor. She saw the pen and then the diary followed. Omg!!๐Ÿ˜ฉ I already knew I was in for it. Only for her to open the diary and read it! “I love David. I wish to marry him in the future and have kids with him” David was the boyfriend of the little me! ๐Ÿ˜‚ Death was already knocking ๐Ÿค•. This was around past 6 in the evening. My mum called me out of the room where I was dressing up after taking a quick shower. Thank God my body wasn’t bare. She beat stupid and bastard out of me. And guess what?? She called my class teacher all the way from school!!! My class teacher arrived after 7 that evening, beat me too and told me we would see the next day. Another round of crying was going to occur. That day, I wished I never got to know my mum and that I never came out of her. Imagine that. My eldest sister came back from work that day, only for her to see my mum escorting my teacher out and I crying so bad inside the house. She asked for what happened and my other sisters and I narrated everything to her. She just laughed and asked “Is that why she beat you? She doesn’t know anything yet.” I didn’t understand what she meant, but the fact that all my sisters were on my side, made me happy.

The next day, my teacher summoned David and I to the corner of the class, where her table stood. She tried to investigate what really happened and David heartlessly pushed me into a tight corner, to face everything myself! Totally denying everything that he did to me! All the love letters?? What about them? He looked so innocent when denying it. He was a good actor by the way๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ But then, omo, I wanted to die. My other friends started to look at me with filthy eyes. Like I was the bad one. What exactly did I do wrong? By saying yes to his proposal? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’”

…what did you learn from this story concerning friendship? A friend is a person who should stand by you when others are against you. Who stood by me? My sisters of course! They didn’t hold anything against me. Even when they corrected me, they did so with love. I didn’t feel rejected. I knew that moment, that when everyone in the world is against me, my sisters won’t!

Fast forward… I grew older and independent. My mum had stopped checking my bags for love letters yunno!๐Ÿ˜‚ It was my time to shine, I thought. My mum had become lenient. People had talked her out of her anger and her being too strict. You guys should know that at least, little traits will be left. Not all will be gone. She graduated to reading my texts on the phone ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜‚ She would use words instead to beat me. Worst thing you could ever do to me. I hate harsh words. Who doesn’t?? I started to change it for her small small, as per big girl something ๐Ÿ˜‚ Them no born me well make I change am big big before๐Ÿ˜‚. She decided to calm down since my same sisters supported me. Wait….don’t think otherwise, I’m not a bad girl. I didn’t have bad chats on my phone either. But you know parents, every little thing you don’t expect them to get worked up on, is what they get worked up on. Just like “hey babe”, which parent will see that and won’t flare up? Well, mine. I don’t know about yours. When she saw my sisters and I had our backs, she totally came down. Now, my mum is like our best buddy!!! Buttt my sisters are the best!! ๐Ÿ˜ญโค๏ธ

When you see my elder sis and my mum play, you’ll ask if they’re agemates. They play around the house like a cat and mouse ๐Ÿ˜‚ My younger sister and I aren’t left out. We’re all best of friends and we’ve got each other’s back. My mum has taken us as her best friends.

So… What I’m saying is, you can’t get a friend or friends like family. No matter how that family may be divided. The bond is just there.

I’ll be dropping the second segment tomorrow or the next, depends on how I feel๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹ You’ll love it though!

Please drop a comment on how you feel about this write up, it’s very important to me๐Ÿฅบ. I love you guys!

FRIENDS/FRIENDSHIP

Continue firm and constant…..

Hello Lovelies! It’s another day. How has 2021 been so far? Well, I haven’t seen any changes yet, but I know I will.

I’ll be talking about “Friends and Friendship.” I’m sure everyone will think this is a common topic people talk about, but I just feel I should talk about it again and I hope it hits differently. ๐Ÿ˜

Everyone obviously has friends in which in one way or the other, the friendship simply faded away, perhaps something went wrong or we simply grew our own separate ways.

Proverbs 27:9

Friendships are born in a thousand different ways. We all know how we birth the new friendships that we make everyday. For me, recently, I make at least a new friend everyday. Probably I get introduced to and sorts. ๐Ÿ‘ผ๐Ÿ‘ผ

We need friendships or should I just say friends to find support from and to be a source of love to us. One of my hobbies was making new friends everyday, but I outgrew it. Not like I still don’t like it, but my eyes has been opened to reality. ๐Ÿ˜Œ

I always wanted to find true friendship. I wanted to feel among, feel loved and be carried along. I grew up as a child that didn’t go out to visit friends even neighbors. Never went out myself to mix with friends apart from family members. This made me really love my classmates because they were the only friends I had. I took them as my little family. I never grumbled a day that I didn’t want to go to school because I just had great friends.

I had my first best friend when I was in primary 1. Fortunately for me, my family relocated to a new area only for me to find out that I was going to live in the same compound with my bestie! You can imagine the joy that filled my heart๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜Œ My family and hers became close family friends. We literally did everything together. My best moment was when I had matching water bottles with Princess. We would show off our bottles in class. People started to ask if we were sisters. I would proudly shout “YES!”

Fast forward… Princess’s family relocated and she changed schools. I had no one to play with and do my assignments with after school. It was like a piece of my heart was shattered. I started to feel homesick. The house became so boring, that there were times I would refuse to open my eyes in the morning when I woke up. The bond was just too strong. The friendship lasted for 2 years. We later lost contact and I was like that was the end. I didn’t have a best friend no more.

Like God knew I was going to go through some phases and situations in my life as a kid, He sent a guardian angel to me in primary 3. He provided me with the most caring, loving and attentive best friend. She would always listen to me rant and shout. She would soothe me with the words I wanted to hear. I actually had other great friends when I was younger. Note this; “not everyone wants to be your friend as much as you want them to.” You’ll still find friends that are envious of you and just hate you for no just cause. Be a good friend to your friends. Don’t go about saying bad things about them. Do not backstab! Just because your friend so much trusts you and confides in you to tell his secrets to, you use his secrets against him when you fight. It’s totally wrong! According to Luke 12:3…

“Therefore whatsoever ye have spoken in darkness shall be heard in the light, and which ye have spoken in the ear in closets shall be proclaimed upon the house steps.”

To avoid embarrassments, I repeat DO NOT BACKSTAB!

So, what I’m actually driving at I this. Everyone wants to be loved. One or two persons wants to be really close friends with you. (Though you have to be careful and filter your friends.) You can’t just keep driving everyone away. There’s this saying we all say when we want to make new friends or a friend is being introduced to us, even our old friends that we already have, ” I don’t want to be friends with those who won’t add a thing to my life.” I say that a lot too, but recently, it got me thinking. “Okay, if I make this girl my friend, she won’t add anything to my life, so I’d rather not be her friend” or we have this friend already that chats us up everyday and then you’re like “she also doesn’t add value to my life, so I’d just snub her or I can just cut her off in a way.” If we keep acting this way or if everyone has this mentality, who’ll want to be the friends of those we cut off? This is what causes inequality in the society, where the rich gets richer and the poor gets poorer because the rich do not want to associate themselves with the poor. Oh! You want people to add value to your life right? Why don’t you also add value to that friend’s life instead of cutting them off? You can’t just make your circle of friends the successful ones only, you can bring the unsuccessful in( I’m sorry if the word unsuccessful is too harsh) and show them ways on how to become successful. That’s what we call “true friendship.” They also want to become successful like you.

In some cases, when you pull them in and you don’t see any sign of seriousness and positive change after a while, I’d prefer you drop that person. God help me, I’d drop the person too๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ Just make the people around you feel loved and happy. Make them know you’re always there to talk, if they need somebody to talk to.

I thank God for the circle of friends I have. Even if not all are serious, in which I know they’ll eventually be๐Ÿ˜‚God help them. My friends open my eyes to different things, they let me in on things I do not know or have full understanding of. They fill me with positive energy and and they make me think wide and far. They drive me! I also want to thank my best friend for believing in me, for trusting me, for telling me things he can’t tell others. I feel loved and special.

You can lift others higher too…. Don’t let the success be limited only to yourself.
Nothing! ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿค—

Some of my friends are also my little mentors. I have a friend that’s my business mentor! He’s just so driven and he carries me along however he can! Dave, you inspire me! ๐Ÿ˜Œ

Lastly, remember the greatest friend of all is Jesus! He’ll love you more, not mindful of your flaws! Don’t assume everyone is as sincere as you are. Have many friends but TRUST NONE except God.

To all my friends reading this, just know I love you guys a whole lot and you’ve been the best. Thank you for always inspiring me!

I have a question for you guys. Are all friends “friends?” You can also drop your experience on how your friends have impacted you positively.

Don’t forget to like this content and drop a comment on what you feel about this post. I’m open to corrections too. No one is perfect ๐Ÿคฒ๐Ÿคฒ๐ŸŒˆ๐ŸŒˆ

REFOCUSING!

Hiiii Everyone! ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค— This will be my first blog post๐Ÿคธ and I hope you enjoy it. I’ll be talking on “REFOCUSING”

I really hope this year 2021 will be a better year for us all. First things first! Did you set goals for yourself for this New Year?? If “no”, it still isn’t too late. One thing is to set and not follow them, in which I did a lot. Yeahhh, I know it’s bad.

I’m sure you’re wondering what gave me the inspiration of this great topic๐Ÿ˜‚ Well, well I have this particular sister and mentor who I tell things that happens to me at my place of work or at home. I believe she’s the only person that’ll tell me the truth. Even if it’s not what I want to hear๐Ÿ˜‚ She’s so blunt and I respect that a lot! She would tell me, Bolu you have a good talent, put it to use. I told her I know, it’s what I really want to do but I don’t know how to. Then she said “REFOCUS YOUR FOCUS”. That statement hit me. It kept ringing in my head. “What exactly do I need to refocus on?” I asked myself ๐Ÿ˜‚ it just felt weird. Then I reminded myself I had focus on attaining some goals last year in which I didn’t. So I said I’m focusing on that again this year and probably add other things to it.

I’ll like to define REFOCUS. In physics term, it means to readjust an optical device. In the context I’m using refocus for, refocus means to concentrate more on a priority or to change priorities to something different from before, that will bring a positive change. It means to refocus anew. If you tried something that didn’t later work out, refocus and set the things you did wrong, right. Put them into focus again, and focus more sharply.

The bitter truth is, embracing change isn’t so easy. Trying to take the first step is always hard but we just have to. Once we overcome this, I believe the others are easy, because we’ve taken the first step.

Starting this blog wasn’t so easy. I never even thought I could actually start a blog. It never occurred to me but God sent a sister to me, to encourage me to maximize my talent, to refocus on my talent. So, that’s what inspired me to start this blog.

Everyone has one challenges or the other he/she is facing, but remember this life is yours and nobody can write your story for you. Consider it your purpose and privilege to complete your story in any way you choose.

So, as a kid, I actually think a lot. Yes, I’m still a kid๐Ÿ˜‚ A whole lot, I mean because life hasn’t been so easy and I have to concentrate on my future. Where am I missing it? Where exactly am I getting it all wrong?? Is it because of my negligence, ignorance or laziness?? Because I’m so lazy. These are the list of questions I feel you should ask yourself before embarking on this “refocusing” journey. Your life is in your hands, no one can live it for you. Work towards making it better. A friend asked me “Bolu what’re you planning on doing this year? A lot of my friends have started things and they’re doing just fine in their various fields.” I thanked God that I actually wasn’t just there mute and empty handed. I replied boldly saying I started a blog already. Just the thought made me happy, though I still don’t know what will come out of this!

List of other questions you should ask yourself go thus:

1. Am I aligned with God’s will? Does He know me? Does He still walk with me? Meditate on this, because we’re nothing without God or Allah, depending on your religious ground.

2. How do I use my time? What do I use my spare time to do? Do I use it meaningfully and productively?

3. Who am I? What exactly do I want? What am I working towards? Why am I working towards it?

4. Do I want to make an impact in this world? In my generation? Do I want to be recognized? How do I want to change the world? Can I be cited as an example? Can I be used as a role model?

5. Am I sure of what I want to do? Does it make me happy? Will it benefit me and the society at large?

In summary, I want us to seize the best part of our days and put it to good use. Try to refocus your focus! You could speak with a friend you trust or a mentor. I’ll still advise you to speak to somebody older or a person with a matured mind and sense. We need to get back on track and right the wrongs . Maximize your talent! You can do a lot. Put your talent to good use.

I pray this year brings us positive changes, answers and good vibes!!! ๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿคฉ๐Ÿคฉ๐Ÿคฉ

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